The Rough Times

Most of us have been affected by the terrible economic times at hand. We began to feel the pinch a year or so ago and hoped that it would end sooner than later, but unfortunately not only is it not at the end, it’s been said that things will get worse before they get better.

There are major layoffs happening every day. What became the most startling to me was when two of the four hospitals in my city laid off employees. Who would ever expect massive layoffs in the medical field? People get sick and need health care. However, with so many losing their jobs comes higher numbers of people with no insurance. And there are few hospitals that will treat you if you don’t have the money to pay. And then there are those who have decided against elective surgeries because they just don’t have the money or they aren’t letting go of what they do have because the news is so bad for everyone.

I work in the media, that’s my “real” job. I’m a writer/reporter for a nationally published newspaper that covers the trucking industry. Part of my job is to watch the Associated Press wire for news related to trucking and things that affect truck drivers. Thus I’m constantly aware of layoffs. Every time someone gets laid off the circle of those affected spreads larger than just that person or their immediate family.

Unfortunately newspapers are closing all around the country. Media folks, including those who work for newspapers that have not shut down, are laying off employees. Those that have yet to invoke layoffs are cutting hours and thus pay.

And ours is one of those. It was announced one week ago that our hours would be cut 20 percent, which means a 20 percent cut in pay that is already not the best pay there is to have.

We still have insurance benefits, for now, and can use whatever vacation we have saved to supplement until that runs out. And we weren’t simply laid off, although from what I hear that’s coming in a few months. So things could get worse.

In the meantime, I struggle with all of the things I “preach” in the former entries in this blog, when those words were written as part of my soon-to-be published daily meditation book. I worry too much, I obsess and forget to pray, I lose sleep, and I don’t trust God to take care of me. I forget that I am being taken care of and that I can think outside the box. I don’t remember that when God closes a door He opens a window. Basically I don’t give myself enough credit to believe that I’m strong enough to make it.

Honestly, I’ve hit bottom already and thought I was done with that. Back in 1993 I was there. I essentially should have died, but for a reason I was given a second or third or hundredth chance. And here I am with so much more wisdom and knowledge than I had then. And in 1993 I was alone and pulled myself up by my bootstraps and moved on with life. From the pits of depression and the financial bottom I had put myself in, I climbed out. I started over.

I don’t wish to start over this time. I would like to think that the degree I went back to school for in 1994 and managed to finish at age 40 is worth something. But in this economy it may just be that I end up at rock bottom financially again.

I’ll survive. I’ll be stronger yet again for my struggle. And I’ll know that I can make it through whatever life throws at me.

I still plan to get the book out in a few months. Who knows if at that time I’ll still be a writer/reporter at my day job, or if I’ll be cleaning toilets and mowing yards. But I know I’ll survive whatever I find myself doing.