Self-Discipline

“Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It’s a state of mind — you could call it character in action.”
—Vince Lombardi

We often think of addiction and recovery as all or nothing situations, that is, an alcoholic no longer drinks, or a bulimic never again purges, and a drug addict stays completely clean from drugs.

And while this is true about those things, we each have things in our lives that we do that aren’t healthy. We may smoke cigarettes; or eat too many sweets or chips; or maybe while we aren’t really an alcoholic we have a drink every night just as a habit; or we stare at the television too much.

All of those things and others, while nothing to send us to treatment or Alcoholics Anonymous, can keep us from being as healthy as we wish. We can practice self-discipline and grow stronger in the meantime.

By going on a diet when we are only 10 pounds overweight, we can save ourselves from having to really struggle on a diet later when we get to be 40 pounds overweight. Even if we only have a few pounds to lose we can be healthier and rid ourselves of poor eating habits by changing our eating routines and getting more exercise.

There are those who smoke cigarettes who know they should quit but believe that they have given up everything else so they don’t want to stop. Many recovering alcoholics and drug addicts will say this. But nicotine is a drug that is harmful to our bodies, as are other ingredients in cigarettes.

I don’t like to be addicted to anything, to let anything control me. Whether it’s a drug or alcohol, potato chips or chocolate, a television show or real life drama, I want freedom from addiction. And while to a heroin addict or to someone with an eating disorder these may seem like small issues, they do offer us a chance to practice self-discipline which makes us stronger in who we are. We can practice the big things in small ways and in doing so we learn about ourselves and become healthier all at the same time.

If there’s anything in your life that feels like it’s an unhealthy habit, determine a plan for giving it up. Pick the day to begin and set an ending goal. While you are beating your habit fill its space with healthy options. For instance, someone who needs to lose weight and does not currently exercise may discover some form or recreation that will not only help them lose weight, but may be something that they will continue after the dieting stops.

If anything controls you, you don’t have control over your own life.

Freedom

“There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.”
—Christopher Morley

Many of us find ourselves living a life free from those things which used to bind us once we begin down the trail of recovery. Whether it’s freedom from an addiction, an abusive relationship, family of origin issues, or any other thing that binds us and keeps us from joy, we can be free of it.

When we find ourselves in that place, having broken free, is usually where we discover just how much we have been under the control of people, places or things. Sometimes when we are in the throws of an issue we don’t see it. But when we are free we can begin to live the life we want, not one controlled by anyone else or anything else.

Of course there are rules and laws in the world, but within the parameters of these we really are free, at least if we live in a country that gives us liberty. It’s easy to come out of an oppressive situation and not realize the freedom so it is important to know that it’s there.

We truly can spend our time the way we choose and that’s a wonderful success story in and of itself. It’s something that those in recovery groups can share with newcomers as part of the rewards of recovery.

Breaking free from oppression gives us the ultimate freedom.

Success

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.”
—George Patton

Just ask anyone who has hit a bottom so low they almost died, and they’ll most likely tell you they feel a sense of success for having simply survived the ordeal. Most anyone who ends up in a Twelve Step recovery group and is able to turn their lives around will feel an overwhelming sense of success.

People hit bottom in many ways, some to drugs and alcohol; some to sexual prowess; others may be thieves and liars. There are many things that can send our lives spiraling out of control. And each person’s supposed bottom is at their own perspective level; they know it when they are there and it may be higher or lower than that of others.

Successful recovery from issues is a lifelong process. It’s something that one can never truly give up on because it will always be there to remind us of a place we wish never to return. Maybe we have dreams about the hell we were in, or we are reminded of it by watching a movie, or some other event triggers the thoughts. Perhaps we get tired of the struggle of recovery and think about returning to whatever made us hit bottom, but usually remembering the pain is enough to keep us away.

We won’t become perfect once we begin to recover, and nobody said we should. But we will become better people if we truly seek to be. Our success is unlimited and may not have the same value that we once thought it would. Success can be measured in a lot of ways: one person may become highly educated, another may be an awesome sponsor in a Twelve Step program, someone else might write an award winning novel, and yet another may be a success because they are able to continually stay away from whatever brought them to their bottom. Success is a personal thing.

It’s often said about drugs that however high a person gets they will go to an equal low. And so it is that once the drug isn’t there a person will hit a state of depression, sometimes within hours of using the drug. Life can be the same in that however low our bottom is we can go to the same level on the other end; the end of success.

Success may be measured by just how low the bottom was that we climbed out of.

Honesty Starts With Self

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”
—Thomas Jefferson

Honesty with self is the beginning to finding a happy and fulfilling life. When we cannot be honest with who and what we are — mistakes and achievements included — we can’t be whole.

All of us have issues we wish to recover and heal from. Some of our issues show up in overeating, drinking too much, or some other addiction. We may not be aware of the reasons we do the harmful things we do to ourselves, but as we seek to grow and heal, we do discover that many actions brought us to where we are.

Whatever our issues, we first must own them for ourselves. If we cannot be honest with self, how can we ever be honest with anyone else?

Often we discover our real truths while talking to other people if we are being honest. We may surprise ourselves and actually admit out loud to someone what is truly inside of our hearts and minds. Perhaps this happens by accident simply because we are opening up to ourselves and someone else.

It’s part of the Twelve Step to admit to ourselves, God, and another person our faults, but also our goodness. It often occurs over time and with trust for other people, but it starts with us.

We may practice saying out loud while alone our truths, whatever they are, and realize that saying how we truly feel, the gut honest truth about our strengths, hurts, fears, all of what we feel, will set us free to grow and heal.

It works. Holding things inside hidden from light in the darkness of our souls will only keep us sick. Shining the light on fears and failures only lessens the pain it does not make it grow. And in the process we find out things about ourselves we didn’t even realize because we couldn’t be honest enough to ourselves.

Honesty sets us free to be healed.

Freedom from Addiction

I want freedom and I can’t have freedom and be addicted to anyone or anything.

Any addiction we have is one in which we are kept from being free. We can be addicted to many things: sex, food, drugs, alcohol, people, places and other things.

Addiction doesn’t just come in the form of the homeless alcoholic lying on a park bench, or a crack addict holed up in an abandoned house. Sometimes our addictions aren’t that striking to us or the world around us. But they are addictions just the same.

If we are being controlled by a substance, behavior, or person then we aren’t free. If we are in a relationship where we are constantly walking on eggshells to keep from conflict we are addicted too. Codependent relationships are not freedom. Smoking cigarettes is an obvious addiction that won’t land us in rehab, but is tough to give up nonetheless.

In my recovery I’ve given up different addictions at different times. Sometimes the thing I was addicted to came back into my life in a non addictive way. The physical addictions were sometimes easier than the emotional or psychological addictions, especially with certain people. I once told someone I cared about that it would be easier for me to let go if she died because then I had to let go. It doesn’t sound like a nice thing to say, but it was an honest statement of a feeling.

On occasion I did not completely give up my addiction the first time I tried. Smoking cigarettes is like giving up heroin, so I’ve heard, and just as difficult, they say. I never tried heroin so I don’t know, but giving up nicotine has to be up on the list of the most difficult addictions to break, and it took me a couple of tries to quit.

Giving up an addiction is not easy, but the rewards are great. We may need to seek support and advice from others while breaking addictive behavior. We can find help if we look for it.

Freedom from addiction is available with great effort.