July Brings Me Good and Bad and a Lot of Lessons

It’s an odd thing for me. Strange and unexplained. July. I’ve done some really bad things in July, some bad stuff has happened in July, and that month has also been a happy time in my life.

I don’t look back with regret on the things I have done in July; things that very easily could have and should have killed me. The reason I don’t lament them is that it’s because of those things that I am who I am today.

I’d probably never have gone back to college without the urging of a friend who helped me in early recovery from my battle with a very bad drug.

Without my return to college there’d be no book. It was in college that professor after professor commended my writing … so much so that it could not be ignored.

And if I had not found my writing talent there would be no book and the lives that my writing has touched wouldn’t have received that blessing.

Here are some things that I did in July in the past:

• One July 4th weekend in about 1991 I did LSD for the first time, and while I had tried cocaine a few times, very small amounts, and felt nothing, this was the beginning of my “do and take anything” drug days. I had smoked pot and drank alcohol, but never anything more. This was a major negative life-changing event.

• The first time I used a drug in a very dangerous way was in July the year after the first time I took LSD. I won’t go into any more detail with that one, but suffice it to say, I should’ve and could’ve died. It was another life-changing event, one that brought me to my knees and made me hit bottom quickly.

• The first time I faced my drug abuse demons was in July 1994. It was the beginning of a new life. I had hit bottom using cocaine. I had stopped in 1993, but I had a lot of growing up to do, and I started that process in a Twelve Step program. It was yet one more life-changing event, only this time it was positive.

• The second time I quit smoking was July 10, 2004. I quit once for three years and still wanted to smoke. After quitting in July 2004 I was blessed or cursed to find that I cannot tolerate cigarette smoke. The smell is nasty to me, unlike it was when I’d quit the other time. The quitting I did five years ago is the last time I’ll have to quit smoking. I can say that with confidence, and

• My book was published in July of this year. I didn’t realize this was happening, I did not tie it in with July events until recently. What a wonderful life-changing event!

I often wonder why these things seemed to fall in July, and I know there are more things, but that’s all I can recall at this time.

There was a time after the drug events in July that I dreaded that month. I don’t anymore. The last two events, quitting smoking and getting “Living Life Inside Out” in my hands outweigh all the bad stuff and they are more recent too.

And I don’t do any of those bad things anymore. I care about my life and health. I’m a new person and would not dream of ingesting something that I had no idea where it came from or what it might do to me.

I have never and will never claim perfection. I share my life including good and bad things to help others.

Here’s to many more happy Julys.