Self-Care in Relationships

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
—Unknown

Many of us will, from time to time, find ourselves in a place where we don’t do what we want or need to do because we are doing for another. We may do this out of kindness, but sometimes we do it from a needy place because we think that if we don’t we won’t have that person in our lives anymore.

It’s certainly okay from time to time to put ourselves last instead of first, but it’s not good to do it the whole time we are in a relationship, whether it’s a friendship, romantic, work, volunteer, or any other kind of relationship.

People who put themselves first all the time in relationships are not that fun to be with. We’ve all known the type who always talks about themselves and never lets anyone else discuss anything. Or those who don’t have any manners such as saying thank you when you do something for them, as if they simply expected it.

Our lives should never be put on hold for another, especially when they don’t appreciate or even notice. Relationships are give and take, ideally 50-50, but sometimes that doesn’t happen every moment. But we need to take care of who we are and not have ourselves used or abused by another. We ought to also be mindful of how we treat others and not do that to someone else.

If we find ourselves feeling a bit on the used and not appreciated side of the relationship, we can talk it over with the other person. If that doesn’t make things any better then it is time to walk away and take care of ourselves.

Don’t put them first when they put you last, you’re only hurting yourself.